I don’t even know where to start with this blog. I had this brilliant idea to write a blog post about homeschool when I was meditating. Then the unthinkable happened, I fell asleep and lost the thought!
So instead, I’ve decided to share part of our story. Let me be clear, I never thought in a million years I would be a homeschooling mom. I was pushed in a way to do this. It’s not my story to tell exactly why I requested a 504b plan for my son but, I did twice.
I was denied both times even though he had a 100% completely valid medical reason diagnosed by our pediatrician. I was ridiculed, judged, told I was a bad parent, that I needed to set boundaries, that my son needed therapy and that if my son’s condition was so bad he couldn’t come to school then he needed to be hospitalized. No one in that room was listening to me, they were too busy judging, covering the schools behind, and certainly didn’t have the best interest of my son in mind.
Right then and there, I educated myself on what I needed to do to legally educated both my kids. My husband was against the idea, as I was building momentum with two businesses, and he didn’t think it was a viable option to help either of our kids.
But let’s back up a bit. In my first meeting, the VP asked me where my husband was, even though I had already explained my child was sick and needed a parent to stay home with him. He then told me my reason for requesting the meeting was invalid and my child didn’t qualify for a 504b plan. He then tried to intimidate me, while he talked down to me, explained to me that he was an ‘in charge ex-navy man who was going to lay down the law and boundaries needed to be set for my child.’ He said several chauvinistic things in this10 minute meeting. (I need you to understand that I do not think all men in the military think, talk, or act this way. This was just him.) Needless to say, I left that meeting mad as hell. Before I could compose myself enough to speak with or write a letter to the principal, he abruptly was asked to leave that school.
I asked for a second meeting and met with an adjustment counselor, teacher, and school nurse. This time they all pretended to listen to my concerns, and again I was denied because he didn’t qualify. I told them it was BS I knew he did by law qualify and that what they were offering wasn’t enough or appropriate for his case. I tried to plan my next step to get some help for my son.
Next thing I know the new VP is calling me screaming at me that my child has missed too many days of school. Insinuating that I am a bad mother for not doing my job, that I need to get my child to school every single day on time, or there will be legal action. She demanded a meeting with me the next day. I told her no as I had pneumonia and would let her know when I’d be available.
The school’s admin called the next day which was a Friday, to set up the meeting for the following Monday. Instead of showing up Monday morning like I was supposed to; I called the admin told her to cancel my meeting in 5 minutes. I was pulling my children and to expect my letter of intent to homeschool.
Over that weekend I did hours of research. I was angry that the school wouldn’t help my son, acted as if I was a bad parent when I had been the one reaching out to them for months asking for help, at the insistence of our pediatrician. I looked up AHEM (a state homeschool support website) to help me write a letter of intent and education plan. I also learned the requirements my state had set.
I successfully homeschooled my 2nd and 5th grader that year. My kids were never so happy, anxiety-free and well behaved! We stopped having all the fights about going to school, doing school work, hours weren’t spent locked in bathrooms or screaming matches. It was so incredibly nice not to be crying every single day! When my kids went to that elementary school it was torture for us all. We had the BEST YEAR homeschooling!
I had no clue what the hell I was doing, but I used Khan Academy and workbooks to teach them Math, we read daily, did history lessons of their choosing, we watched the nature channel and YouTube for science. They did course work in other things too that I found along the way. Other than math, I let them lead me in what they wanted to learn that first year.
The best part was that my husband was sent to Washington DC for several months and we were able to make two trips for a few weeks at a time to see him and explore, experience and soak up all the science, history and excitement of the city had to offer! My oldest just told me, “it was the best thing I could have ever done for her! She thinks everyone should get a year to decompress, de-stress and learn at their own pace.”
What I learned from these last two years is that I am stronger, smarter, more confident, outspoken, and positive than I ever thought I was. I no longer care what others think of how I raise my children. I know my kids are better off for me doing this than to keep them frozen in fear, torturing them, making them hate school and in turn believing negative things about themselves. Mindset has played a huge role in how I have parented them in the last two years, and of course, going forward. My intention was to help guide my children to love their lives and change the things they don’t. I am incredibly grateful for trusting my intuition when everyone else told me I was wrong.
My daughter went back to public school for middle school and academically she transitioned well, as she finished the year on the Honor Roll. Her anxiety spiked, she wanted to give up, but she never did. She truly loves the middle school, and how they treat her, understand and meet her needs. I only wish the elementary school could have done that for both of my children.
My son is now heading into his 3rd year of homeschooling and he loves it! His anxiety level is way down. I was hoping this year he’d head back to public school but medically he’s still not ready. He knows that I need him to try to go back in middle school 2 years from now.
I tell you all of this to share how I got here. But also so that you can see I’m a normal mom, who’s doing what’s best for her kids. We don’t homeschool for religious freedom, or due to the quality of education (although that was an issue too in elementary), or that we are doomsday preppers or crazy radicals, or that I want some type of control over my child, we aren’t some weird family with no social skills either. Come to find out in 2005, 1 million kids in the US were being homeschooled for a million different reasons. We are like your typical American family. I could no longer tolerate the bullshit this elementary school was handing me and my children! I wanted and expected more from them. They couldn’t fulfill their duties beyond the one size fits all kids approach and I wasn’t just wasn’t going to sit back and accept their mediocrity.
If you have ever thought about homeschooling your kids it’s not as difficult as you think. There are so many systems available to guide you. There are Facebook groups out there for each state that will support you. Check-in with your local library to see if there are monthly meetings by other local homeschoolers. There are places online like Outschool or Khan Academy that provide help to homeschoolers and are non-religious. Just remember not to compare yourself, to how others homeschool. Everyone does it differently and you will find your groove. It’s also not a failure if you or your child decides to go back to public school. It’s your job as a parent to do what’s right for each child, as you see fit.
Homeschooling isn’t just for the weird or socially awkward! Check your state for guidelines, but trust me, you can do it. If this unorganized, unstructured, hot mess of a mom can do it so can you!!
Holistic Mystic D 